Whatsername
by MichelleEspino
Summary: Every night I would text her until one of us fell asleep, we became closer and closer, she was the best friend I ever had, we would tell each other secrets we would never tell anyone, when one of us had any kind of problems, the other would be that someone you could always rely on... I don't remember when and how it happened, but i made the worst mistake of my life... ONE-SHOT


**Whatsername**

* * *

I sit down on my old, brown, leather couch after a long day at the office, I look around living room, I'm Gonna tell you something, its messy as hell, I've been very busy lately and I haven't had time to clean the house up. I look up at the round luxury clock hanging on my wall, 7:00 pm; I guess I have a little free time to attempt to clean this place.

I start off with my kitchen, I clean up everything that's on the floor and throw away the rotten fruits, then, I start washing the dirty dishes and when I'm done I dry Them off, I reach down to open the little wooden door where I put the clean dishes, that's when I notice it, a little corner of a.. Well what seems like a book, I slowly pull it out and see its black leather cover, I the middle of it, there's a picture, of a young blond boy and brunette girl hugging, I recognize the boy, it was me, when I was younger, And the girl at my right was my girlfriend back then, I remember some of our memories, I remember her face but I can't recall her name, it was a long time ago.

I opened the photo album to find more and more pictures of us together, there are a lot of photos of us at the beach, at a random shop, sharing an ice cream, holding hands, doing stupid things… you name it.

I remember the day we met, I was walking down the street with my hands in my pockets, I have no idea why, like I said, I was a long time ago, I wasn't paying attention and I didn't see her coming, apparently she didn't see me either and we crashed into each other, we didn't fall, just stumbled a little, She said "Sorry, I didn't see you" or something among the lines, I must've said something nice like "no, no, it's ok, I should have watched where I was going" because after that we became friends, she was really pretty, she had brown wavy hair that went down her shoulders and beautiful big brown eyes you could get lost in if you weren't careful, After that we introduced each other and talked a little, I gave her my number and she gave me hers.

That little moment turned out to be a dream for me.

Every night I would text her until one of us fell asleep, we became closer and closer, she was the best friend I ever had, we would tell each other secrets we would never tell anyone, even family, when one of us had any kind of problems, the other would be that someone you could always rely on, one night, when we had a sleep over at my house, I took her outside to take a walk around the park, I led her to a little fountain in the middle of the park and we sat down on the green fresh grass and talked about random things, that was the night I asked her out, we started dating. We were either 16 or 17, I can't remember.

I know I lived many things with her, even though I don't remember much of what we did…

_Remember, whatever  
it seems like forever ago_

Our relationship was very special for both of us; we would do everything and go anywhere together, I remember that we even saved up money and traveled together, nowhere too far though, we were planning to go to Paris for our 3 year anniversary, it was our dream and we wanted to make it together… but that time never came.

I don't remember when and how it happened, but I know that was the day I would propose her to marry me, I was so happy and excited, I smile at that memory, but immediately frowned at what happened next… she gave me the news that would break my soul in a million pieces, she was moving, far away, the reason? It's lost in my memory, she promised she would call and visit me when she could, but she never did, and it's my entire fault.

I completely lost it, I yelled and screamed at her, she tried to calm me down, but I was beyond mad, just the thought of her leaving me made me insane, I can't remember the things that I told her, but I know I made a big mistake, I hit her… I slapped her, now I remember her face, her eyes had tears streaming down her face, those warm, big brown eyes that I loved so much; one of her cheeks red and swollen, she didn't even scream back at me, she just… left… it was actually the biggest mistake of my life, with that, I let go the only one I loved, the only one I cared about, the one I was supposed to spend my life with.

She left.

I never saw her again.

I never heard her voice again.

I never had another chance to tell her how much she meant to me.

I lost everything.

I didn't even try to contact her; I wasn't man enough to tell her I was sorry, I drowned on my proud, _I am my own worst enemy_… And I regret it deeply, but regrets are useless now, what's done it's done. I don't know how I could forget about this for all this time, 20 or 22 years ago was the last time I saw her, Seems that she disappeared without a trace.

After she left I burned most of our photographs, they got lost among the flames, I wanted to forget about her, It was hurtful for me watching her face, it reminded me of the big mistake I had done, I'm glad I wasn't stupid enough to burn them all.

I wonder what happened to her, I wonder if she's happy, did she ever get married, I wonder if she had kids…

Did she forget about me?

…

The park were we got together was sold after she left, it was destroyed, they didn't even build something there, nobody goes there anymore, there is no green grass, just dirt, and that little fountain was removed.

Something I will never forget is that in every anniversary, we would go that park and just lay there next to the fountain, looking up at the stars and talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

She went away and then I took a different path, I moved on, it was hard, but I did it. A few years later I met my wife, Evelyn, we got married and moved to another city, far away from my hometown at the age of 26, we had 2 little girls; they are 15 and 14 years old now. I guess it was the busy life I'm living right now what made me forget about my once upon a time girlfriend, I must have lost and forgotten about this old photo album, I have no idea how it ended up in the kitchen, but I'm glad I found it. I am 42 years old right now, I smile at the memories while looking at the pictures, even if I'm married and have kids now, I have to admit that the girl in the pictures was my true love, don't get me wrong, I love Evelyn and my daughters, but there was something special with this girl, the only thing I have left of our relationship are this pictures, when I get to the end of the album, on the very last page, there's a note, she wrote it, but she didn't write her name…

_Austin_

_I want you to know I'll always love you, no matter what, I want you to know I will always support you in every single thing you do, I'm always Gonna be by your side and you can count on me._

_Forever._

_Ps: when we get married, I want to buy that two-story house by the beach._

Ahh, that house… I remember a little bit of that, whenever we went to the beach we would see that house, one day we made a promise that when we got married we would buy that house and raise our children there.

We promised we would grow old together.

No one ever bought that house; it's still there, facing the ocean…

I sigh sadly and close the photo album carefully, not wanting to damage it, since it's very old, I walk to my room and place at the top of my shelf, I'll always keep it there, I don't want to lose it ever again. I look at the time on my phone, 9:00 pm, time really does fly by, I take a quick shower and change to the clothes I wear to sleep, I take one last look at my shelf, making sure my photos are safe, I turn off the lights and lay down on my bed, she´ll be in my head for a while, I'm sure about that..

_Now I wonder how whatsername has been._

**And in the darkest night**  
**if my memory serves me right**  
**I'll never turn back time**  
**forgetting you, but not the time.**


End file.
